Monday, September 17, 2007

Same-Sex marriage often for the kids

Same-Sex marriage often for the kids


Same-Sex marriage often for the kids
Information shows those with children more likely to tie knot than those without

Chad Skelton
Vancouver Sun
Thursday, September 13, 2007
New census data suggests one possible explanation for why same-sex couples in B.C. are deciding to get married: They're doing it for the kids.
On Wednesday, Statistics Canada released figures from the 2006 census that, for the first time, include information on married couples of the same sex.
And the data shows same-sex couples with children are far more likely to get married than those without kids.
According to the census, nearly one in four lesbian married couples in B.C. (24 per cent) have a child living with them, compared with just 13 per cent of lesbian couples living common-law.
Gay men are far less likely to have children than lesbians.
But they, too, have a big marriage gap, with 6.8 per cent of gay married men living with kids, compared with just 0.5 per cent of unmarried gay couples.
University of B.C. law professor Fiona Kelly, who recently interviewed 49 lesbian mothers as part of a research project, said married lesbians often cite their children as a big reason they tied the knot.
"They felt it sent an important message to their children that they were committed to each other," said Kelly.
Marriage is seen by some as clarifying their parental rights, especially in cases where one woman is the biological mother and the other is not.
"In some of the families, it was their sole reason for getting married: They thought it would give their children greater social validity and perhaps greater legal protection," said Kelly.
This view may be mistaken, she said, because marriage itself does not automatically confer parental rights on someone.
But some women still feel getting married helps legitimize their relationship in the view of society and the law.
"What it does do is send a very clear message that you intend to parent together," said Kelly.
Another factor, said Kelly, is that lesbian couples with older children are often pressured by the kids themselves to get hitched.
"Those [children] who were cognizant of the debate were sent a very strong message that marriage was a good thing and it's what gay and lesbian couples wanted," said Kelly. "So they actually started questioning their parents and saying: 'Are you going to get married?' "
Until recently, said Kelly, most children raised by lesbian couples were born as the result of a past heterosexual relationship.
Now, however, the vast majority are born into a lesbian family.
In part, said Kelly, that's due to lesbians coming out younger, making it less likely they will ever have a relationship with a man.
And lesbians are taking increasing advantage of sperm donors -- in many cases, gay men they know -- to have kids of their own.
In fact, said Kelly, there is some evidence that we are in the midst of a "lesbian baby boom." She said one fertility clinic in Vancouver told her fully one quarter of its clients are now lesbians.
Vancouver resident Elizabeth Barbeau and her partner Dawn had a commitment ceremony in 1998 and then got married in 2003, shortly after gay marriage was made legal in B.C.
Last year, the couple adopted a baby boy named Isaac.
"We always knew we wanted to have kids from the beginning of our relationship," said Barbeau. "[And] we wanted the whole family to be recognized as one unit."
Barbeau said they would have got married even if they didn't want kids. But she said marriage gives her a sense of stability, which she likes.
"For me and for my family, there is a lot of security in the social recognition and legal recognition that comes from being married," said Barbeau.
Overall, the 2006 census counted 7,035 same-sex couples in B.C., of which 19.5 per cent were legally married.
Among major cities, Montreal has the highest concentration of same-sex couples in the country, with one in every 97 couples gay or lesbian.
Metro Vancouver is second with one in every 105 couples gay or lesbian.
And Victoria is third, with one in every 108 couples.
In Kelowna, just one in every 236 couples is gay or lesbian and in Abbotsford it's one in 253.
cskelton@png.canwest.com

No comments: