Larry Craig scandal should cue gay rights debate -- Newsday.com

Larry Craig scandal should cue gay rights debate -- Newsday.com

Newsday.com
Larry Craig scandal should cue gay rights debate
BY BRETT KRUTZSCH
Brett Krutzsch is an administrator at New York University and a freelance writer. His essays about gay life have appeared in The Advocate, New York Press and The New York Blade.
October 23, 2007

Larry Craig's much-anticipated interview with Matt Lauer last week brought the country's attention back to the senator's airport bathroom scandal, arrest and unfulfilled promise of a resignation. I, however, am reminded of the incident every time I enter a public rest room. I first noticed a shift in lavatory climate when I attended the U.S. Open this summer with my boyfriend, just a few days after news of the Idaho senator's arrest broke. We entered the men's room and overheard three presumably straight guys uttering warnings to each other: "Be careful if anyone taps their foot next to you," and, "I'd keep my head down at the urinal if I were you." When they saw us walk in together they shot looks to one another that, to me, said, "On guard, fellas. There are two of them" - as if we had taken a break from the Roddick match to find sexual partners in the loo. A few weeks later, I was at a happy hour when an inebriated colleague made a poor attempt at a joke, saying, "Don't try pulling a Larry Craig on me," as we entered adjoining stalls.Before Craig's arrest, neither my partner nor I had heard of foot tapping as a sort of gay Morse code. Now, with constant attention given to the scandal, the stereotype of queer men as hypersexual predators is once again in the public consciousness. Obviously, I can't deny that some men seek sexual encounters with other men in public rest rooms and parks. Jim McGreevey, former governor of New Jersey, acknowledged in his memoir that while he was in the closet he often sought sex in communal places.Heterosexuals are able to freely flirt at Starbucks, the gym and at work. But in many U.S. towns and cities, gay men and lesbians don't feel comfortable making advances in such environments, for fear that homophobes will assault them. Many flock to gay bars to meet other queer people, but those in the closet - especially politicians, clergy and men with wives - can't risk being seen in such locations. Closeted individuals seek sex through more covert channels, relying on eye contact and suggestive signals. But to believe that some gay men look for sex in rest rooms simply because it is risky or exhilarating is a misread of many situations. Such encounters are a symptom of living in a country that views homosexuals as second-class citizens. If lesbians and gay men could get married, adopt children more readily or, at the very least, show affection in public without fear, more gays would live their lives out of the closet. Until being gay is seen as a viable, healthy and acceptable life, Americans will continue to hear about men looking for physical intimacy in rest stops and airport bathrooms. In his interview with Lauer, Craig asserted his innocence and heterosexuality. Regardless of his sexual orientation, I believe the senator committed no crime. Even if he had given signals indicating that he wanted sex, he didn't expose himself or engage in lewd behavior. Straight men who catcall or wink suggestively at women typically are not arrested for openly flirting, nor is such heterosexual behavior the premise of undercover police operations. Craig's arrest wasn't just an attempt to frame a politician; it was a statement to gay men and lesbians that we should keep our personal lives hidden because our sexuality is apparently disgusting and criminal.If all that comes from this scandal is debate over whether Craig should resign or discussion of how this affects the Republican Party's reputation, our country has missed an opportunity to recognize the marginalization of gays and lesbians. It's sad to think that there are people with such deep levels of fear and loathing about their sexuality that they allow themselves the intimacy they desire only when anonymity is possible. The real lesson from the Larry Craig debacle is that, without complete equality, gays with internalized homophobia will continue to lead false lives while seeking extramarital same-sex partners. I wish for them the appreciation and contentment I've found in being gay. And I pray our country makes gay rights a priority - if for no other reason than we can all have peace and solitude in the bathroom.
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